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Does My Ex Want Me Back? How to Understand If Your Ex Wants You Back
- By Cam Preston
- Published Tuesday 16th 2008
- Break-up
- Unrated
Cam Preston
Whether you want to get your ex back or at least want them back in your lives in some capacity, make sure you approach the situation the right way. Click Here for a step-by-step plan you can use to get your ex back and respark the feelings they once had for you!
View all articles by Cam Preston
So, we went through the breakup, and the recovery, and the angst and the drawdown. And you put your life back together again, picked up a hobby, went back to the club to play racquetball, and otherwise moved on. Only your ex is back in contact, and she's being flirty. And out of memories of what it was like before, and maybe too much time spent watching Dawson's Creek or the OC, your hopes are starting to rise.
Hope's a powerful force. But it's not a strategy. Stop for a moment and ask yourself the important question: "Why is this happening?" (The other symptoms of this are that your ex is asking for favors again).
Now, we know you miss them. Just a little. Or more than a little. But listen to us - don't go jumping head over heels back into a relationship here. Watch out for your own skin, and don't go ditching all the things you picked up to make your life interesting without them in it. Play a touch hard to get - remember, they were attracted to you because you had a life. Keep that life and let it be the lure for their behavior, not how you go after them.
Next, factor in how long the relationship was. If it was over a year in duration, expect it to be mutual in many regards. You want her, she wants you (or vice versa for the ladies reading the article). Lots of shared memories
there to go over, and lots of details to make the heart ache and grow fonder. Be wary of regrets; regret by definition, comes too late. And it can cause you to make decisions you shouldn't.
Be aware of the attention-sponge game. Sometimes your ex will seem interested because she likes having you pay attention to her - but has no real interest in being reciprocal about it.
Guys tend to be dumb that way - they'll go out of their way to make a woman happy, but need to watch out for being used poorly. It's a horrific thing to have your ex meander back into your life and discover you were the place holder while she found something new.
However, if you don't play into her games and aren't quick to give her attention, this can be a powerful psychological game that ends up making your ex grow attracted to you again. They see you as someone who is all of a sudden disinterested in them and they can't help but want you and your love back.
So step back, assess, and be a selfish bastard if you have to. Always ask yourself if this is giving you what you want before doing anything to make your ex happy. She had the chance to stay with you and the relationship blew up before. Don't be manipulated again...and if you do end up making a go of it, set the boundary conditions you need to ensure your own happiness. If nothing else, a little distance makes it hurt less the second time.
Hope's a powerful force. But it's not a strategy. Stop for a moment and ask yourself the important question: "Why is this happening?" (The other symptoms of this are that your ex is asking for favors again).
Now, we know you miss them. Just a little. Or more than a little. But listen to us - don't go jumping head over heels back into a relationship here. Watch out for your own skin, and don't go ditching all the things you picked up to make your life interesting without them in it. Play a touch hard to get - remember, they were attracted to you because you had a life. Keep that life and let it be the lure for their behavior, not how you go after them.
Next, factor in how long the relationship was. If it was over a year in duration, expect it to be mutual in many regards. You want her, she wants you (or vice versa for the ladies reading the article). Lots of shared memories
Be aware of the attention-sponge game. Sometimes your ex will seem interested because she likes having you pay attention to her - but has no real interest in being reciprocal about it.
Guys tend to be dumb that way - they'll go out of their way to make a woman happy, but need to watch out for being used poorly. It's a horrific thing to have your ex meander back into your life and discover you were the place holder while she found something new.
However, if you don't play into her games and aren't quick to give her attention, this can be a powerful psychological game that ends up making your ex grow attracted to you again. They see you as someone who is all of a sudden disinterested in them and they can't help but want you and your love back.
So step back, assess, and be a selfish bastard if you have to. Always ask yourself if this is giving you what you want before doing anything to make your ex happy. She had the chance to stay with you and the relationship blew up before. Don't be manipulated again...and if you do end up making a go of it, set the boundary conditions you need to ensure your own happiness. If nothing else, a little distance makes it hurt less the second time.
Check out your exclusive 25% discount
on custom printed products at VistaPrint.
Order today!
